Monday, February 10, 2014

Some Concluding Thoughts

It is Monday at 5:30 am. We are on a 2 hour delay. I arrived in Pittsburgh at 6:30 pm Friday and I was beyond excited to see my family. We drove straight home and I have not left the house since.  I have been sleeping for the better part of the weekend.  Jet lag.  When you fly across that many time zones, the jet lag is fierce.  I continually feel like I am recovering from anesthesia. Disoriented, dehydrated, no appetite.  But the thing that has been the hardest is the feelings I have deep within my being.  I miss the friends that I made and all of the children I came to love.  Their faces and voices and songs are going round and round in my head and I want so much to be able to see them and talk to them.  And at the same time, the horrors of what I saw haunt me relentlessly.  The cowardly thing to do would be to put into gear those defense mechanisms I have learned all too well and pretend that either it wasn't as horrible as it appeared, or that if I just absorb myself back into my comfortable culture, I will feel better.  But the truth is, that it was horrible and that I know that I can never view life, mine or anyone else's, the same again.  I know that there are people in Uganda who are holding out hope that I will remember them and their sufferings.  And not just remember, but actively engage myself and others, in loving them the way Jesus does.

I haven't talked to anybody except the people in my house since I have returned home.  I honestly am struggling for words.  What do you say when someone says, "Tell me all about it." Or "How did you like Africa?"  I know this sounds simple and I should just answer the questions, but my experience and memories of it, are still so raw and personal and I have not quite figured out what to do with these feelings. I think that is why I am writing this.  It is easier to write it than to talk about it.  I cried all the way home from the airport and my husband was confused as to why.  I was confused too.  I guess it was because it was all so beautiful and so traumatizing at the same time.  I need your continued prayers.

Great memories:
Kibule, our driver, saying in his very limited English, "Uganda is easy."  He saiid this because the people are kind and loving for the most part.

Despite their circumstances, the Ugandan people seem to hold out Hope and look for the good and the blessings in life.

I have never known anyone as gracious and polite as the people I met.  Always saying, "Welcome back, Terra."  Even if I just walked out and right back into the gate.  Everyone would say, "Welcome back!"

They prepare meals for you and refuse to let you help with anything because you are a guest.

"Never give up" was written across the back of a vehicle i saw driving by.

*Riding as the 3rd person on a boda boda
*squatting over pit latrines everywhere I went (Even had to pay $2 to squat over one in the city.)
*dead cockroach in my bed
*accepting and eating a piece of fruit from the very dirty hand of a small child (how could I say no?)
*cooking all of our meals outside over an open fire
*having to explain over and over again why Americans are fat (they use that word as a compliment and want to know how they can be fat too)
*trying to convince my new friends that I was not a 25 year old Spanish girl (although I felt very complimented!)
*telling the story over and over again about why I have so many dogs and why I put a sweater on them if they are cold.  They laughed harder each time I tried to explain.
*explaining snow and sled riding and snow men
*Recho asking where "the place of convenience" was when I was asking where the bathroom was
*a Ugandan man wearing a Cowgirl Up thirst

What I learned about myself:
*that when I am weak, He is strong
*i am to be a light in the darkness, and what that really looks like
*i have a larger capacity to love and be loved than I knew before
*i am braver than I thought I was

This is the information for ECM:
Every Child Ministries
PO Box 810
Hebron, IN 46341

Www.ecmafrica.org
219-996-4201

As I mentioned earlier, I will be working to raise money. I will be selling beads made by the children so that I can send the money back to their projects.  Recho and I are working together to create a safe place for the at risk Karimojong girls to stay and sleep at night.  They have to come off of the streets. They are being beaten and exploited in unimaginable ways.  This is going to take the help of others to raise enough money to help protect them but they are among Uganda's most vulnerable and that is why I have decided to focus on them. If you would like to help me in any way possible, please contact me:

sunbuggymoon@yahoo.com.        

You can also call me if you have my phone number; I am not going to post it online.  Or for those of you I see on a daily basis, just ask me how you can help.

Thank you for taking this journey with me.  Your prayers gave me strength when otherwise I would have fallen apart.

I love you all!!!!!!!!!!
Terra

"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will guide you with My eyes."  Psalm 32:8





Thursday, February 6, 2014

Final Pic

Goodbye for now. I will not forget...

All Packed and Ready To Go

It is Thursday at 5:30 pm. I will be leaving for the airport at 7:00. My flight leaves out of Africa at 12:45 am. I will be on that plane for approx 9 hours.  I will land in London and fly to Chicago and that flight will be another 9 hours. From Chicago to Pittsburgh, another 1 1/2 hours and home!  I realize the weather has been awful so there may be delays and cancelations, esp. the Chicago flight, so please pray.  I miss my family and friends and I am so anxious to see them!!!  :)

When I return to The Farm :), I will be posting my final thoughts as well as information about ECM if you would like to get involved.  I have many projects that I have to begin working on when I return such as selling handmade beaded necklaces made by the children, helping to organize and begin a program for at risk adolescent girls in Karimojong, just to name a couple.  Remember, if Jesus isn't calling you to help Ugandans, He is certainly calling you to work for Him in some capacity.  Pray and ask for His guidance and He will direct you to your calling.  I pray that our eyes and our hearts have been opened through this experience and that we will allow His light to shine through us. We are his hands and His feet and there is much work to be done.

I love you all so much. Thank you for following me to brave!!!

"Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, When it is in the power of your hand to do so."  Proverbs 3:27

Thurs Afternoon pics cont.

  a
and Kate

Thursday Afternoon Pics

After her bath :)

A Beautiful Day

It is Thursday at 1:00 pm and it is my last day here.  We did not schedule any field work today so I am able to relax and visit with my new friends, young and old.  I was too exhausted to post last night when I returned so I can update you now.

Yesterday was a very long day of walking and visiting.  Allen, Rachel and I started by taxi and went to Kamwokya to meet Richard and Linda.  We then walked a very far distance (far to me, although they are always telling me, "It is close."). Their idea of near and my idea are very different!  ;)   The first stop we made was to a slum area where we stopped at a mud house to visit the mother of one of the sponsored children.  The home was maybe 5x8 and I believe 4 lived there.  The mother was very unloving to the daughter that was present asking that she be taken far away.  It was a confusing situation for me as the project coordinators were trying so hard to talk some sense into the mother.

The next stop (again, a very long walk) was another slum district and another family visit. This time to a mother of 6 and grandmama of one.  She was living in the same type of dwelling as the first family.  She was a Christian woman and cried and cried. When I asked why she was crying, I was told because she was so grateful to God and ECM for all of their blessings.'"  And she was living in complete and utter poverty. A small dark room with no items of comfort just bleak and depressing. And yet, she was crying tears of joy.

Our last stop was to a hospital to visit the sponsored child who was hit by the taxi. He is recovering and will be discharged soon. The problem is that the family is destitute and unable to pay the hospital bill so they refuse to release the child. So every day the bill increases for keeping the child whose parents cannot afford the current bill!  So frustrating!  The  ECM staff was looking into allocating emergency funds.  I am not sure of the outcome.

Then it was time to say a final farewell to Richard and Linda.  As we parted ways, I felt sad and wondered how I would handle saying goodbye very soon to the rest of my friends.

When I arrived back late in the evening my little friends were waiting so we played and I fed them cookies.  They do not understand that soon I will be leaving.

There were a pile of ants and a dead roach on my bed last night.  That is all I will say about that.

When I woke this morning, I checked my online journal (is that a better word than blog?) and read my brother Matt's comments.  It was the first time I really allowed myself to cry.  I have been so afraid that if it start I will never stop, but the tears poured down my cheeks.  I cried so hard because he really got it. He understood what I have been feeling for so long. The Lord has been speaking to my heart and calling me to action for some time now and I understand, I really do, why everyone else does not feel this calling and this pain, but when I read his words, I finally felt like someone understood. My brother and I have a relationship where we seem to know how the other is feeling or what the other is thinking before we even share it. This is a blessing from God, to have someone who knows you so well and still loves you for exactly who you are. I love you Matt.

I feel like I need to say that I do not expect others to share my desire to love the people of Uganda. God placed Uganda on my heart so I am here. If God has placed America, Iceland, the slums of New York City, your next door neighbors, the elderly gentleman at church, someone in your workplace, addicts, the lonely, the handicapped, (I could go on) on your heart...move to action. Love them with all of the strength and resources you can muster.  Be obedient to your Maker and live your life intentionally. We are not perfect but we all know what it feels like to want to be loved, to be cared for by someone, to know you matter, to feel you were created for a higher purpose and not just here by accident or because of a mistake.  Everyone thinks that I have been a blessing to the people I have met in Uganda, but make no mistake... I am the one who has been blessed.

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Kyampisi Childcare Ministries

 Precious little Hope.    Www.kyampisi.org for more information

Happiness

My little Kate is in the red shorts and black shirt. :)

Tuesday

It is Wednesday at 7:30 am. We had no electricity yesterday so I was unable to post Tuesdays events. I will take the opportunity to do that now.

Recho, Allen and I began with a stop in the village where I am staying to pick up a handicapped child and his grandmother.  We took them to a hospital that deals directly with the disabled so he could get his first examination since birth (he is now 3 years old).  We were told he has cerebral palsy and will need 2 pieces of equipment in his home for daily physical therapy.  His grandmama could never afford something like this, so I will cover the cost. It will be approx $100 US only, and will possibly change the rest of his life.  It will be a long process. But his muscles with eventually work much better than they do now and he may someday be able to walk on his own with arm crutches.

After, we drove to Kyampisi Childcare Ministries who promotes and supports child empowerment.  We specifically went to visit Hope, a child that was first placed with ECM and then transferred to this ministry.  Hope is 9 years old  and was kidnapped by witch doctors at 18 months. They kept her lying at an alter with her arms and legs tied behind her for 2 years. They sacrificed some body parts and collected her blood and gave her only enough food and water to keep her alive. She was found lying in a field, still tied.  They have named her Hope because it is obvious that she is still alive because God decided to keep her here.  She is an absolute ray of sunshine to witness.  She loves people and spends most of her time smiling. Hope is only one example of thousands. There are 2 other small boys at this facility with stories too explicit to share here.  The problem of child kidnapping and slavery is rampant here and while there are good people trying to rid the country of this evil, it is a slow and frustrating process.  I watched the children in my village playing last night, and as I held them in my arms and rocked them, I feared for their futures.  Not these ones dear Lord, please surround them with a hedge of protection of your angels today and always.

After visiting Hope, we stopped at Mulago Hospital (Uganda's largest national hospital).  We went to visit a mother and her 9 month old child. The child was born handicapped.  He can not cry or stretch out his limbs. He has the appearance of a 1 month old baby. The hospital hasn't been able to offer this mother any solutions but she continues to sit there day and night with her child.  In Uganda, some mothers are blamed by their families for producing a handicapped child, and this was the case for her.    At least at the hospital she was able to get a small meal each day.  I felt so helpless as it was clear to me that this baby was in such bad shape and his beautiful young mama could only sit and watch him deteriorate.

When we arrived back at our village, I showered and rested. Around 5:00, I went outside of our locked gate and sat in a chair to read my Bible.  Almost immediately, a very young child came towards me carrying an infant baby like a rag doll and handed her to me.  And then the child ran off!  I held the baby for awhile waiting for someone (the mother?) to come for her, but no one came.  The baby was coughing and her nose was running green.  Finally the little child came back with a hat and blanket, and I said, "Take the baby to her mama. She is sick."  She she took her and I watched her hand her to a woman in the distance.  The woman, clearly not satisfied with my response, walked to me with her baby and said in very broken English, "She is sick.  I need medicine."  I know that there is a clinic very nearby, so I gave her money for an antibiotic and cough medicine.  I can only pray she will spend the money on the medicine.  People here are always coming to you to share their particular stories of struggle.  You really have to use so much discernment in deciding who and how you can help.  I tend to focus on the children and I try to use my resources to provide for them.

After the mama left, my 4 little friends showed up to play for the evening.  They have been the highlight of my stay.  To one little girl, Kate, I have grown very attached.  She crawls into my lap and stares into my eyes and rubs my skin.  She loves me so much and I love her even more.  She is about 3 years old and I have not yet been able to locate a mama that belongs to her.  She just runs around in the evening, maybe in the care of a neighbor?  The first evening that I had to send her home, she burst into the saddest tears I have ever seen.  I look forward to seeing her when I return from my work today.

I will be doing family visits for the Kamwokya project.  One visit will include a hospital to visit one of their sponsored children who was hit by a car on Wed 1/29/14. I believe that he remains in a coma with a brain injury. He was walking where he was supposed to, when a speeding taxi swerved and hit him. They said his mama witnessed it and passed out. I can not begin to imagine her grief.

"Rejoice in our confident hope.  Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying."   -Romans 12:12


Monday, February 3, 2014

My Visit to the Karimojong

It is Monday at 9 pm.  I am tired and yet I realize as I write these words that I will lay my head down on a pillow in a soft bed to sleep tonight.  Not so for the people that I met today.  They will lay outside on the ground, surrounded by garbage, the same as every night unless they can come up with 500 schillings (less than an American dollar).  If they can, they will share a room with 9 other people. I took a picture of the inside of one so you could see it. Scroll down at the pics and you will see one with a few women standing inside.
What I saw today was beyond any description I can put into words. Recho is the coordinator for the Karimojong people. I talked about them in an earlier post but I will repeat in case you didn't read it. The Karimojong are a people group from up north, a place called Karimojo Land. They are cattle herders and very good at what they do. For some reason, there is conflicting information, they migrated to Kampala. It is believed they were forced, but the government here is trying to force them back.  They are despised by society and treated horribly.  As a result, they live in the most extreme and shocking conditions known to man. I witnessed it today firsthand and I am forever changed.  It was as if I had entered into someone's nightmare, but it was real. I was having so much trouble comprehending what I was seeing.  They welcomed me so warmly and thanked me over and over and over again...Just for coming.  They sang and danced for me and their leaders took turns giving small speeches to greet me. Recho translated. I sat in awe just trying to nod my head and smile. I held their hands as they knelt on the ground in front of me to show respect.  I should have been on my knees in front of them.  And through it all they sang praises to Jesus and clapped and cheered when I told them that He loved them.  I kept revisiting Bible passages in my mind. The treatment of the lepers became real. I was a part of the story.  I had just read Luke 10: 30-37 ( if you do not know it off hand, please read it), and suddenly I realized why.  And I now really do understand that the ruler of this world is Satan and that he has brought so much destruction and that he wants us to believe that Jesus isn't strong but we know that He who is in us is greater than he who is in the world.  1 John 4:4.
Jesus has the power and authority to do whatever He wills, but what He wills is for his children (you and me) to love one another. And love means you do not let your brothers and sisters in Christ starve to death and die alone in a garbage heap.  Matthew 25:34-40 is not hypothetical. James 2:1-9 is not a suggestion.  And rich in faith the Karimojong are.  Oh, if only my love and faith for our savior could be as deep and authentic as theirs.
I have never had such juxtaposed feelings. Hating what I see and loving what I witness.  Wanting to run away as fast as possible and never look back and feeling like I should never leave.  Feeling like I was in a bad dream and feeling reality for the first time in my life. Horrible beauty. Satan's evil and God's glory. My heart bled and filled with love at the same time.
It is so overwhelming that it can be tempting to think the problems are just too big, but I have never forgotten the story I was told about the boy walking on the beach one morning where thousands of starfish had been washed ashore. He was picking up one at a time and tossing them back into the ocean when a man came along and asked, "Boy, why do you bother?  Do you really think it's going to make a difference."  The boy having just released one into the water replied, "it made a difference for that one."

Tonight I will wear to bed the simple black rubber necklace that the Karimojong gave to me as a gift. It will serve as a daily reminder that "...to whom much is given, from him much will be required... Luke 12:48

End of the Day

 I had four little friends visit me this evening. A much needed reason to smile. A bracelet, an orange, a piece of gum and a game of ball was all I gave but it meant so much to them.
This is what my feet look like at the end of every day!  :)

Karimojong Site 2











Baby eating mud cookie


Karimojong Site 1continued






Karimojong: Site 1





Sunday, February 2, 2014

Desire


Wearing my sunglasses. :)


Sunday pic

Me, Desire, Hilda and Miriam

Sunday

It is Sunday at 6 pm and I had a wonderfully relaxing day.  Mariam and Hilda came this morning to walk me to church. I asked Lydia (our day guard) if I could take Desire with us and she agreed. I loooove Desire!  I carried her down the long dusty path to town and we finally arrived at Full Gospel Church. We arrived around 10:30 and waited for the 11:00 service. Praise and worship (can I just say "Wow!"), and then the sermon for the next hour.  So it was not 5 hours long like I thought I was told yesterday. Desire slept in my lap most of the time.  The service was in English as well as Luganda.  They are serious about their worship. They love The Lord so much and it is powerful to worship with them. Awesome. (Give you the details when I get home, Matt. You know how much we appreciate African American worship?  Well this was Ugandan style and it was a blessing to experience!)

I carried Desire home on my back, which the older girls found Hilarious for some reason.  The dust here is red so whenever you walk anywhere you are covered in red dust when you arrive.  Some days I don't know if my face is red from the sun or the dust!

When we returned, we had a meal of fried potatoes, rice and cabbage.  It was delicious and probably extra so because I was starving!  I was craving a piece of chocolate for after dinner (as I usually do) but we had pineapple. I am finding out that I will live without chocolate every day!!!

Desire and I colored, played and she tried to plait my hair. So funny from a 4 year old. She followed me around all day, saying "Auntie!  Auntie!"  I tried to teach her colors in English.

Mariam and I had a very interesting talk about government and one's will to succeed in life regardless of the circumstances.  She explained that Ugandans are rich in mind but not resources.  She is only 15 but one of the wisest people I have ever met.

Tomorrow I go to Karimojong.  Prayers are needed. Not necessarily for my safety, but for my clarity of mind and God given wisdom.

Love to you!

Why do you spend money for what is not bread, and your wages for what does not satisfy?  Listen carefully to Me, and eat what is good, and let your soul delight itself in abundance.     Isaiah 55:2


Saturday, February 1, 2014

Video

Not sure if this video will play, but if so it is precious.

Karimojing Site and students


Kamwokya Site and students


Amina

This is Amina (one of my sponsored children). I can not get the one of Norah to load but I will keep trying.

Kamwokya and Karimojong Visits

It is Saturday at 9:30 pm. I just returned from a very long day from visiting districts on the outside of Kampala.  Allen and I left around 8 this morning and headed for Kampala.  Our first stop was at the Kamwokya project. The children are in secondary school (high school) so it was a bit different. They gave us a warm welcome and then performed skit after song after poem etc.  This went on for about 4 hrs.  Everything starts late and lasts forever in Uganda. We were then served a dish of rice, Irish potato, bitter spinach, cabbage and watermelon.  I spoke with the students on the importance of working hard in school because they are the future of Uganda.  We left around 3 and drove to the Karimojong project. I no sooner stepped out of the car when about 6 children came rushing towards me, throwing their arms around my waist.  I don't know that I have ever had anyone so happy to see me.  We were led into their classroom where they sang and danced for us.  They then were given lessons on praising God, keeping themselves clean, and what it means to be good children.  Now pay attention.  There were 18 children in the program - all of which were street children. No homes.  No parents. These are the Karimojong children. They are despised by society. Their people live in makeshift dwellings if in anything at all.  They are the poorest you will find.  ECM pulled these children from the streets (no need to ask permission - the women thrust the children at you and beg you to take them).  These 18 children are boarded at this facility 24 hours a day with the help of generous sponsors.  When some of them arrived 2 years ago, they were animalistic.  When I met them today, they were absolutely beautiful. I will post pics.

Monday I will be going to visit the Karimojong women to witness first hand the conditions they are living in. I can't even imagine what I will discover. Just trying to sort through everything I have witnessed already has been so difficult.  I imagine that I could not possibly ever be the same.

Tomorrow I am going to church with a girl from our village. We will walk up the long dusty road until we reach The Full Gospel church, which I am told lasts for 5 hours.

Good night my loves!

But whoever has this world's goods, and sees his brother in need, and shuts up his heart from him, how does the love of God abide in him?  My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth.           1John 3:17-18