Before Brave...

I have decided to keep a record of my upcoming trip to Uganda.  So many different thoughts, fears, insecurities.   I have also decided to start from the beginning...
I have always been fearfully adventurous.  That is an oxymoron, but true nevertheless.  The fearful part began in my twenties when my anxiety first reared its ugly head.  Suddenly I was afraid of things  I had never even considered in the past.  It was important that I was always in or near a familiar place as well as with a safe person.  "Never alone or in the unknown" became my life's motto.  So when the idea of Africa was placed on my heart, it seemed like something only other people do.  So to think that in 5 days I will be on a plane headed to Africa to spend 2 weeks there -alone - is very surreal to me.  Did I mention that I have lived with a true phobia of planes for most of my life?  I have had very few nightmares in my time, but most of them have involved the crashing of a plane.  :/   Yea, I know.  In case your wondering, the flight there will be approximately 18 hours long.  The fact that I have such a sense of peace and calm can only come from one source...God.  I believe with all of my heart that His hand is in this for reasons that He will continue to reveal to me as He chooses.

So how did this all start?  I have been working with a ministry called Every Child Ministries, out of Hebron, Indiana for a few years.  I sponsor two children as well as their national missionary and my husband also sponsors a child.  In January I got word that the director was traveling to Uganda to do work in the country for three weeks.  I emailed her and asked her if I could fly there with her to visit our sponsored children and she said I could but that once we arrived I would be on my own as she had many other places to go.  So I will be staying in the township of Gayaza, at the project's site, for 2 weeks.  What will I be doing while I am there?  I don't know.   I will be there to be used in whatever capacity they need me.  But I have to tell you, I have an overwhelming feeling that this trip just might    be intended more for my growth than for anyone that I will meet.  Don't we normally take these trips because we feel that God can use us to reach somebody else?  I mean, we always go with the notion that we can do some sort of good, right?  And believe me, that is certainly my goal.  But I am learning to never assume things with God and His plans for us and honestly, He more than anyone knows how much I need to grow...how much I need reached.  (Romans 12:5)
And so it is that I invite you to follow me to brave. <3