Monday 8/29/16

It's not really Monday; it's Tuesday.  I just didn't have it in me to post yesterday and I really don't even now. I may not even end up pushing the publish button because maybe this one is just for me.
We went to the Katwe and Kisenyi slum areas yesterday. Kisenyi was first. It consists mostly of women and small children and is the least brutal of the two. We were able to meet a handful of the new girls that would be coming to the 91four house after the first group graduates. They were gathered together in a dwelling that looked like a cave.  Dirt floors and walls, so dark and small and horrifying. And they were sitting closely together very quietly and they looked so afraid. I tried to be so gentle with them and speak softly and kindly but they had this terrified look and I thought that maybe they were afraid they were getting ready to be kidnapped and trafficked by us. My heart hurt. You could tell they wanted to be hopeful but what on earth would allow them to be?  Devastating. We left them by telling them that we loved them and that God loved them and because of that, they would soon be in a safe place.

We left Kisenyi and headed to Katwe. Katwe is like a form of hell on earth. It is filthy and unsanitary and the absolute scariest place I have ever set foot in. The men are drunk and the women are in misery. The children are half clothed and sickly. There are flies everywhere and as well as garbage. People are sleeping in the dirt and makeshift dwellings. And yet the Karamojong male leaders are dignified. They were once savage and brutal warriors. They lived naked and killed with spears. They were cattle raiders and herders and they survived. But due to neighboring countries at war which led to unrest in their land, as well as famine/starvation, they migrated to Kampala. And so here Matt and I sat with them, as they expressed their gratitude (through our translator) for what we do to help them.  All I could think of was the men they were and where they came from, and the men they were standing in front of me. The people here are afraid of them as well and embarrassed and rightfully so with the fear. They are a primitive tribal group. But they are so much more than that. They are kind and gentle when respected and treated fairly. They welcomed us (because they have come to recognize us) and form somewhat of a protection around us while we are there. They need so much help. So much. My heart aches for them and what they are forced to endure. They have figured out a way to brew their own alcohol and many begin drinking upon waking. And people complain about it. What?  Really?  Please believe me when I tell you that if that was my existence, I'd be the first one with a cup each morning. And I'd drink until I passed out cold. If only to escape it for those hours...  They drink to forget. To pretend it is not as bad as it is. And they want to work or go to school but they can't because no one will hire them or pay their school fees. (You must pay to go to school here.)  Recho tried to take the little children to a nearby church but was turned away because, "the children are too dirty."
I can not say what the answer to this mess might be. But there is so much suffering occurring and these are living, breathing, feeling human beings just like me.  God help me if I do nothing after seeing what I've seen and knowing what I know.
The 91four house is the only one of its kind in kampala. We can currently house 25 girls max.  If we had help, we could have a bigger facility to protect, educate, house and feed more girls. Please consider helping us help them.  I know of no other way to do this than to ask for help.
Today was a beautiful day spent talking and laughing and worshipping with the girls. Tomorrow we plan to do the same.

"Carry each other's burdens and in this way you shall fulfill the law of Christ."  Galatians 6:2

Sunday 8/28/1016

Because it is Sunday, Matt and I spent the day together at the inn and Recho and Andrew went to church as a family and spent their day together. We encouraged this because we realize that we are taking up so much of their time together and they just had a baby. They live too far for us to have gone with them.
Nevertheless, it was a great day. A day of rest and reflection. A day of reading and thinking and praying.
I thought a lot about forgiveness today. Although I think about it very often, it has been heavy on my mind the past couple of days. You see, hurt is hurt in whatever form it presents itself. Whether it's being sent to the streets by your parents as a child to beg or sell your body for money, or its name calling, or being a target of racism (blatant or subtle), or being unfairly criticized or blamed unfairly, or being lied to or about, or being tortured for what someone else feels is justified, or being made fun of, or being beaten, or raped, or cheated on, or............................
When you have been hurt and your trust has been broken and you've lost faith in someone or a system of someones, you have to decide whether or not you will forgive. And usually there is a direct link between how long it will take you to forgive and the degree or level of the offense and it's affect on you or a loved one. But Jesus said to forgive others and to love your enemies. And we often dig in our heels and say,"But God, you dont really expect us to forgive this person for (fill in the blank.)"  But it is a direct command. We say, "Forgive us our sins as we forgive others."  Do we mean that?  I know for certain that I want God to forgive me for my sins...it's the "as we forgive others" part I'm not always so sure about. Why?  Because it is part of the hard work He has called us to. It is not always easy being obedient in the areas that God has called us to. I know that I have hurt others in my lifetime. Some greatly and I can only pray that they have somehow found it in their hearts to forgive me. I myself have had countless sleepless nights and shed innumerable tears trying to come to grips with some of the ways I have experienced hurt. I have mourned the loss of relationships until I was certain that a piece of my heart had died with them. And over and over again (sometimes with the same exact people) God has lovingly and sometimes firmly guided me through the most difficult process a human being will ever experience...how to forgive someone. He has also helped me to learn that my part is the forgiveness, but that reconciliation does not always follow. And I've learned that that is ok.
You see, unforgiveness causes a bitter root to take hold in your soul. And once that root starts to get nourished, it becomes stronger until it eventually chokes the life out of you. You can not have the full peace and joy of Jesus when you are being suffocated by hate or unforgiveness and so we must obey Him in order to grow in Him.
My prayer, and I ask that you pray with me, is that our Lord and Savior will equip the girls of 91four to forgive those that have so brutally and mercilessly assaulted their innocent lives. The beatings and rapes and abandonments and the void where love should have been. They have every reason to be bitter and angry and vengeful  and to hate. Every reason except one...Jesus. Jesus says that this is not the answer but instead to love and forgive that they may know Him more fully. Remember, the most brutal forms of violence and speech were used against Jesus and He prayed, "Father forgive them for they know not what they do."  He experienced the depths of despair and was subjected to the unimaginable and he was innocent; full of nothing but love. He, more than anyone, would have been completely justified for withholding His forgiveness. But He forgave. And He asks the same of us.

God our Father, we pray that we will rely on the strength you have fully equipped us with for the purpose of forgiving others when we have been hurt. We know that this is impossible in our own human strength and that it is only through You that we can forgive others and then lay down the hurt at Your feet and move forward.  Thank you for loving us enough to give us Your own example of what forgiveness looks like and for remaining with us faithfully as we stumble through the process.
Amen
"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed."
Psalm 34:18

Friday 8/26/2016

It is 10 pm my time and I just got into bed.
After breakfast this morning we went to the project house. We took along the two college students who are studying abroad in Nairobi.  They truly enjoyed their visit with our girls and it was fun to see them interact together. Maya wanted her hair braided and then she taught them a couple of songs.
Before we left, the girls and Recho presented me with a Gomesi, which is a traditional Buganda dress. They made it for me as a surprise and have requested i wear it to their graduation ceremony. It is beautiful and i was so touched.
After lunch we had to head back because recho was meeting with the attorneys about the possible purchase of new land for a bigger campus. This will be a process and I will keep you updated.
I am not sure what the plan is yet for tomorrow, but sleep is the plan for right now. 😘
  "The Lord redeems the soul of His servants: and none of them that trust in Him shall be desolate." Psalm 34:22

Thursday 8/25/2016

This morning Recho had a meeting with an attorney and realtor about the possibility of purchasing our land for the new project site. She has to go again tomorrow to discuss details with the actual owners. Please be praying that if this is the spot that God has chosen for us, that He will make it clear and we will know. And if it is not His will, that it will not work out. His will...not ours.
While Recho went on this appointment, Matt and I had a couple of hours to spare so we asked a driver to take us to the Kubaka Palace. It is high on the hill and overlooks Kampala. It is beautiful but it is vacant. It once housed the king of the Buganda tribe.  In 1971, Idi Amin overthrew the elected government of Milton Obote and declared himself president. He stayed in power from 1971-1979 torturing and murdering anyone he felt did not support him. Most of those terrorized were Christian Ugandans. They estimate that while he was in power, he brutally murdered over 300,000 people. He was overtaken in an ambush in 1979 and fled the country.  We toured the torture chamber while we were there. Horrific. I won't even go on. 
Tomorrow  we are going to spend the day at the house with the girls and staff. I met two college girls from America this morning who are studying abroad in Kenya. They have come to Kampala to visit for a few days and asked if they could accompany us to the house since what we do pertains to what they are studying. Young people are changing the world!  
I felt some real heaviness of heart today. The people here have been through so much pain and suffering. But they are brave and they are survivors and they keep moving forward. My heart breaks for them and at the same time Ihave so much respect for their culture that it is not honorable to them for anyone to remain in a state of pity They deserve so much more than that. 

"And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes."   Revelation  21:4
            
                          Idi Amin torture chamber

                           Kubaka Palace

Wednesday 8/24/2016

Today we had meetings all day...😕  Definitely productive but not my choice of how to spend the day here.
I'm very tired- it's midnight. My body is now getting used to the time change so I have actually been ready to go to sleep for the last 3 hours. 😴
I was going to skip writing tonight but when I talked to my sweet littlest girl, she said I had to post. She said that I do every day so it was important I did today as well. Always the voice of reason...💞
So if for no other reason than to ramble for a moment and to let anyone that may read this besides my Maggie...I am still alive and well. Oh, and so is Matt. 😉
Goodnight...
"I love them that love me; and those that seek me early shall find me."
Proverbs 8:17

Tuesday 8/23

Have you ever wanted to let loose and just sing and dance and raise your hands in the air simply because you belong to Jesus?  Because God loves you even though you were once a selfish, unloving, unforgiving, ungrateful, obnoxious mess? (And still are some times😐😑) Realizing that you deserved nothing but He has given you life and made you a new creation in Him is beyond comprehension. He is so faithful and so good and He loves me no matter...  I am humbled and grateful to Him beyond words.

Today we went to the project house and shared a time of worship and praise with the girls. Matt was asked, unexpectedly, to give the sermon and he preached on Matthew 6:24-34.  These verses are Jesus teaching us not to be anxious.  Beautiful verses and ones we all need to hear but so very important for the girls to remember at this time in their lives. They will need to trust His words in these verses because they will most certainly be faced soon with some of life's most anxiety producing circumstances. Pray with us, as God goes out with them, that they will recognize His presence and draw strength from Him. 

After Matt and I left the project house we went to the streets of Kampala. There, we spent time with some of the young karamojong children who spend every single day in the streets with their little hands out begging over and over for help. Dirty ripped up clothing and barefoot, but most have eyes that have not gone vacant...yet. We passed out snacks and water and flip flops to them. And they were happy. It is such a small thing to do and we knew it would relieve them only for a couple of hours of misery, and we fully realize that those snacks and water won't cure their starvation, BUT maybe, just maybe, the glimpse of love they got today will give them a little hope. Hope that love exists and that kindness does happen every once in a while. Maybe if people keep loving them bit by bit, day by day, they will begin to believe us when we tell them that Jesus loves them. They first need to see what love looks like. 

Matt and I aren't here doing this because we are such good people...

We are here because He loved us at our most unlovable and and gave us hope when we thought we had lost it forever. He has commanded us to reach out to the poor and to care for the orphans and widows. We are to be His hands and feet. And He knows I fail Him on a daily basis, but oh, how I love Him and long to serve Him. 

What you see in 91four is Him...not me, never me. 

"He heals the brokenhearted, and binds up their wounds."   Psalm 147:3

"The Lord also will be a refuge for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble."  Psalm 9:9

Monday 8/22/16

It is Monday night at 11. Crazy late for this girl...but wait...not really because it is only 4 pm your time. I should be eating dinner. My body is so confused.
Today was an awesome day. We went to the project house and spent the day with the girls and Ugandan staff. First 15 minutes of just hugs. The girls are so beautiful - beyond description. They are joy filled and glowing. I can sense anxiousness and fear although they have not said so. With graduation in a little over a week, they are not sure how to feel. Some, like a typical teenager, said months back that they felt ready and prepared to go out on their own. But now...now that the time has come they wish they were staying. But just like our own children, the time comes when you have given them as much love, protection and education as you could have and showered over them prayers and blessings and suddenly it is time to let them go. We let them go off to colleges or off to a husband or wife or off to work or the military, or to Missouri- 12 hours away.... but somewhere deep inside you have some peace knowing that they will be ok.
These girls have had 2 years of safety and food and soft beds. 2 years of nights where they could rest their sleepy heads without the fear of being raped. 2 years of home-cooked  meals where they sat and giggled with one another instead of sneaking rotten meat from garbage cans only to be beaten if they were caught. 2 years of worshipping together and encouraging one another. 2 years of clean clothes without holes and shoes instead of cracked, bloodied and blistered bare feet.
They will go out soon, just like we once had to, and try their best to make a life. But it will never be an easy life. They will work harder than I could ever imagine to just survive. BUT...they have been given a chance. A chance they NEVER saw coming. A chance to matter because they know now that they are loved. First by Jesus, then by their sponsors and lastly by the staff Uganda and state side.
I think that their mama's would tell you, "thank you for giving to my sweet baby girl what I could have never given her."
You all have saved lives. You have been a part of picking up the shattered pieces of a girl's life, and gently bringing her back to life. Through your sponsorship, donations and/or prayers, you have done for the least of these. Thank you for being His hands and His feet.
"But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk and not faint."
Isaiah 40:31

Sunday 8/21/16

It is Sunday afternoon at 4:00. We woke up today at 9 am after a solid night of sleep. We decided to stay at our Inn for the day in order to unpack and get acquainted with our surroundings since we are staying in Muyenga this time.  We had a breakfast of eggs (and meat for Matt) and VERY strong, but delicious coffee. We went into the city for about an hour and found a really cool place to walk around. Matt was talking with a Ugandan guy and i told him we were brother and sister. He didnt seem to believe me and kept repeating, "So...you say you are brother and sister?"  Finally he said, "You are Mexican and he is very American." So funny but I think i convinced him by the end of our conversation.
Recho will be coming within the hour and we will sit down and discuss the plan ( the "program" as Recho calls it) for the next 2 weeks.
I miss my family already but I take great comfort in knowing that a few of you love us enough to keep up daily via this blog and social media. It really does make me feel less homesick.
BTW, this place has 2 resident dogs and one has become fast friends with me. 😊
I will be updating with pics soon.
I have to tell you that your specific prayers are being answered. PLEASE continue to pray for whatever God lays on your heart while we are here. I can not even express how comforted I am by knowing so many of you are praying.
I will write again before bed. Remember, we are 7 hours ahead of you.

"Therefore if any man be in Christ, he/she is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things have become new."
2 Corinthians 5:17
Oh, Praise God for this!  So hard to accept this truth, but it's His truth so we can be certain of it! 😀

Leaving for Uganda 2016

It's Friday. That means it's departure day. Departure from my sweet family and cozy farm. Departure from my furry friends and reliable comforts. But soon I will be arriving. Arriving at a place that I miss like home when I'm not there. Arriving to see my extended family in Uganda and that makes it worth the departing.
Thank you to those of you that will do this journey with me from the states. I will update as often as I can on here as well as Facebook  (91four) and Instagram  (91four or sunbuggymoon.)  Our plane leaves Pittsburgh  at 3:15 this,afternoon. We are due to arrive in uganda at 7:35 pm Sat (12:35 pm your time.) We are 7 hours ahead of you. Stick with me...the journey to brave continues!

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous.   Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged,  for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."
Joshua 1:9